Let's think about
This little manual gives you a variety of ideas on how to do philosophy with your children to help them to develop skills for a responsible and effective digital media use.
Introduction
More and more children of primary-school age and nearly all adolescents have got their own smartphones. Today, a large number of young people spend their time online. Due to the rapid spread of the Internet, the depiction of eroticism, sexuality and pornography has become accessible to a great amount of people. Therefore, children and adolescents are often unintentionally confronted with different forms of sexuality and sexual content at a very early stage. Pornography is available at any time and without any restrictions, however, its usage is always accompanied by social taboos, issues of legality, and the fear of getting caught.
Kids online - a challenge for parents: has the Internet taken the job of sexual education? Everybody knows that cyberbullying, pornography and sexting are present throughout the Internet. But how do we react to it? What can parents do? How can we react in a fast and competent way? In what ways can we influence its further development? How can one find his or her place within a virtual world that is constantly getting more and more confusing and unclear? Does the Internet offer more opportunities than risks? How can we support children and adolescents in the safer use of the Internet?
Studies show that the exchange of nude pictures via the Internet and mobile phones, “sexting” (a compound of “sex” and “texting”), is getting more and more popular among young people. Barbara Buchegger, a media expert, says that the dispatch of erotic pictures is part of the young people’s world. Cyberbullying and Sexting are accompanying symptoms of social networks. “Children are not only helpless victims. Sometimes they are victims, but they are often those people who recognise what happens to others – and they are also culprits that do bad things to others”, says media educator Barbara Buchegger (Saferinternet.at) to the experts of the Bundesverband Österreichischer PsychologInnen (BÖP).
Erotic pictures or videos are sent to flirt and also within partnerships. This can lead to unpleasant consequences for the depicted person, especially when the pictures or videos fall into the wrong hands and get published on the Internet. Often there is no way to stop the spread, because the photos or videos can also appear several years later in various places on the Internet. The Internet does not forget.
It is a great challenge for children and young people as well as for their parents to deal with the digital media critically and to take responsibility, especially when it comes to taboos, such as pornography. Awareness building through educational and information trainings is required. On the one hand it is about a careful introduction to the medium Internet, as well as a critical examination of the content. On the other hand it is about the sexual education of children and adolescents. Is it possible to learn a critical and constructive approach to the Internet? What can parents do and how can they start?
Young people must not be left alone in the online world. They need to develop awareness of potential risks, whether in the real world or in the virtual world. Openness is required! For parents it should therefore not be a taboo to talk about with their children about sexuality and also about Internet pornography as well as sexting. Conversations about sexuality are often difficult, especially when the topic has been excluded in families. But even if parents sometimes believe that their children already know everything, there is a great need for education right now in the time of digital media.
In the following, new ways are presented to engage into a dialogue with children in order to deepen relationships and build trust. Through stories, case studies and various texts, the philosophical dialogue enables parents to access a different approach to the topic of Internet pornography.
Doing philosophy is about motivating and encouraging young users of new media to ask questions and to promote their critical thinking and their ability to reflect. Furthermore, they should be sensitized to the ethical dimensions. But how can I sensitize my child? How can a dialogue develop in a way that children want to talk about their own experiences and thoughts?
The philosophical dialogue
A philosophical dialogue is more than just talking. It is an activity, a shared inquiry, a way of critical thinking and reflecting together. It helps to develop tools to explore underlying causes, rules and assumptions and can be very creative in finding new ways of solving problems. The philosophical dialogue is used in education and prevention. Doing philosophy means dialogical as well as communal inquiry. It encourages children and adolescents to ask questions and not accept everything as given. What are friends? Are Facebook-friends real friends? What does friendship mean? Do I know something because I´ve read it on the Internet? What is knowledge? How do I know what is true? When do I know someone? Can I trust someone I have never met personally? What is trust?
It is important to ask different types of questions, for example:
- Questions of clarification
- Questions that probe assumptions
- Questions that probe reasons and evidence
- Questions about viewpoints or perspectives
The following materials offer you the opportunity to apply the philosophical dialogue to the daily family life. By strengthening the soft skills and reflective competences, the self-protection factors are strengthened and the abilities to resist external influences are promoted. It is part of a holistic method of health promotion which actively supports messages of prevention.
The provided materials contain exercises and discussion plans concerning the topics: friendship, responsibility, respect, the power of the image, …
Using the manual
In this part you will find a manual for the joint reflection and the philosophical dialogue. We will now briefly explain how to use those resources.
The manual contents three types of resources:
- Leading ideas
- Leading ideas are brief philosophical explanations which should help parents better understand the different concepts or philosophical ideas that pop up in the stories or case studies.
It merely intends to clarify the way we focus on the given topic and to give a few clues so that parents and children may reflect on the topic and explore all the different concepts involved.
- Discussion plans
- A philosophical discussion plan usually consists of a list of questions which generally deal with a specific concept, relation, or problem. The questions may form a series, with each question building on the previous one, or they might form a circle or spire where each question focuses on the topic from a different point of view. The basic idea is that questions should help build up a dialogue and set a structure for that dialogue.
- Exercises
- The exercises in the manual focus on more specific aspects. They are not aimed at sparking free dialogue. The goal is to work on specific aspects related to:
• Concepts: clarifying, setting limits, use, translation etc.
• Skills or abilities: The exercises aim at practicing some specific skills or procedure.
Eine Auswahl von Fallbeispielen und Geschichten, die als Einstieg in das Gespräch mit Ihrem Kind/Ihren Kindern dienen können:
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Geschichte
My "friend" Ben
It is an episode that will encourage you to think about what it means to have a friend. What is a friend? What does friendship mean? What is trust? Are all of my Facebook-friends, friends I can trust?
The story will help you to talk with your child/your children about the following topics:
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Geschichte
“You have nothing to hide!”
This story is about Yvonne, who fully trusts her close friend Julia. This is especially about a private photo that has been published on the Internet.
The story will help you to talk with your child/your children about the following topics:
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Geschichte
Heleen - „Beautiful breasts.“
The story is about Heleen, a 15 year old girl, who was asked to send private pictures to a boy she met on the Internet. The images were published on the Internet.
The story will help you to talk with your child/your children about the following topics:
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Dialog
Sex fair
This dialogue on Internet pornography shows that reality and virtuality are different. The Internet and films often lead to unrealistic expectations.
The story will help you to talk with your child/your children about the following topics:
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Comic
Ein Bild mit Folgen
The comic “A picture with consequences” is about a young girl, who plays a typical girl game on the Internet and is supposedly chatting regularly with another girl. It shows how easy it is to violate the privacy of a person.
The story will help you to talk with your child/your children about the following topics:
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Fallbeispiel
Filmed while having sex
This case study shows how the trust of minors was abused and private images were spread on the Internet.
The story will help you to talk with your child/your children about the following topics:
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Fallbeispiel
Žaneta
Ženeta, a 15 year old girl from Czech Republic, got to know a friend through an online community who abused her trust. The close relationship became a nightmare.
The story will help you to talk with your child/your children about the following topics:
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Fallbeispiel
A father reports
In this case study a father reports how nude photos of his 6-year-old son were published on the Internet.
The story will help you to talk with your child/your children about the following topics:
Leading idea Friends
There are different conceptions of friendship and the meaning of friendship might be different to all of us – but friends are important. We all might have some different notions about what it means to have a friend and what it means “to be friends with”.
Discussion plan Friends – Friendship
Friends are important for children as well as for adults. We will try to explore the concept of friendship. What kind of understanding do we have when we talk about friendship? Do we all understand friendship in the same way? What does it mean to have a friend?
- What kind of understanding do we have when we think about friendship?
- What does friendship mean?
- What is a friend?
- What does a friend mean to you?
- What is the meaning of the word “friend”?
- What makes someone a best friend?
- Are Facebook-friends real friends?
- How many friends can a person have?
- If a friend has a different idea of friendship, can he / she be your friend?
- Can someone be your friend you never met personally? If yes why? If not, why not? Please explain!
- Can someone still be your friend if he / she has different interests than you?
- Are there people who have no friends?
- When do we call a person as a friend?
- Can a sister or a brother be a friend?
- Can parents or grandparents be friends?
- Could you be friends with an elderly person?
- Could you have a friend that is not a person?
- What is the difference between relatives and friends?
- Are there similarities between relatives and friends?
- How can you make friends?
- In what ways can someone be your friend?
- Is there a difference in how you treat your friends and how you treat your siblings?
- Could you ever think of something that would destroy your friendship with
your best friend?
- What does it mean “being friends with”?
Exercise Friendship
Already the philosopher Aristotle thought about the question “How can you know who your friends are?”. He describes three different types of friendship based on usefulness, pleasure and moral goodness.
- Find out what different kinds of friendship there are for you!
- Find examples of the three types of friendship that are distinguished by Aristotle!
- Find criteria that are common to all concepts of friendship!
Leading idea Trust
If we you trust a person, you tell him or her pretty much everything. Just as Ben did. Ben trusted a person he met on the Internet. How can you tell whom you can trust? Can you trust someone you have never met? When do we trust certain people? What is the role of emotions?
Discussion plan Trust
- How can you tell if someone is trustworthy or not?
- Do you think that people trust you the first time you meet them?
- Is there a person you trust?
- Why do we trust some people more than others?
- Are there e.g. bikes (brands) that you trust and those you do not trust? Why?
- Are there people you trust and people you don’t trust?
Why?
- What does trust mean?
- Can you trust information on the Internet?
- Do you generally trust strangers? If yes, why?
Can you really trust the people you meet online?
Leading idea The right to protect your image
Yvonne and her friend Julia took intimate photos of each other and someone put these photos of Yvonne on the Internet. Yvonnes brother stresses the importance of having the right to protect the own image.
There is a close relationship between our rights, justice, laws and norms. Do only rights apply to us that are recognized in the law? What does it mean to have a right? Why do we need human rights? What does it mean to upload photos on the Internet?
Many people do not want to see photos of themselves published on the Internet. Publishing photos on the Internet requires the permission to use the image. Therefore it is important to know about laws and rules of the Internet.
You can see more and more photos of individuals, couples or groups uploaded to the Internet. Everyday millions of photos are uploaded to the Internet. Not all Internet-users are aware of the fact that the pictures are not only accessible to everyone, but can also be copied, edited and used for different purposes by everyone. These are topics that you should discuss with your children. Discussing these topics with your children will equip them with the knowledge to make more informed decisions about how to use the Internet responsibly.
- What does right mean?
- What is the purpose of rights?
- Who determines what is right?
- What does it mean to have the right to protect your own image?
- Are there other rules and laws on the Internet?
- Are there rights that are not recognized by law? Can you give some examples?
- Are there rights that are not recognized by law? Can you give some examples?
- What do you have to know if you use images on the Internet.
- What is the difference between norms and laws?
- What is the difference between rules and laws?
- Where do rights come from?
- Do you know rights in one country that are different from rights in another country?
- Are there any rights that cannot be repealed.
- What is the difference between law and justice?
Leading idea The power of the images
Many young people are texting photos to their friends. But this could put them in serious danger. Together with your children, discuss the problems arising from the case studies.
- What is the meaning of a picture/photo?
- Why do people make selfies?
- What is the meaning if someone sends a picture/photo to you?
- When do you send someone a photo/picture?
- Why do you send/give a photo/picture to someone?
- Why do parents publish photos of their children on the Internet?
- What effect can a picture as a form of communication have?
- How can you use images?
- Can images have a function when words stop working? If so,
Why? If not, why not? Please explain!
- What is the difference between a photo you just made yourself and a photo on the Internet?
- Is there something you can express with pictures / photos, which can not be communicated otherwise?
Leading idea Privacy
The right to privacy is a human right: “No one shall be subjected to arbitrary interference with his or her privacy, family, home or correspondence, or to attacks upon his or her honor and reputation.” Everyone has the right to the protection of the law against such interference or attacks.
The protection of their privacy is very important for many internet users, so they are increasingly sensitized to the protection of their data, respectively their privacy. Nevertheless, they often do not act accordingly. According to an online survey which was conducted 2013 by mediaTest digital, 51% of the interviewed people would not give up social apps, such as Facebook or WhatsApp, even though, they are concerned about their privacy. Thus, there is a discrepancy between the safety awareness and the actual behavior of the Internet user, which is often too careless.
The fact that we appreciate something particular, such as our privacy, is also no guarantee that we act according to that. So there may be a real discrepancy between what people stand up for or say and how they actually behave. We are dealing here with ethical questions: An important starting-point to think about with children and adolescents is the question “What is important for us and what is valuable?” and also reflect on it eventually. “When we value something special, do we also act according to it?
Discussion plan Privacy
- What is privacy?
- Is there a right to privacy? If so, who has that right?
- Do children have a right to privacy?
- Is it your right to keep a diary private?
- Where does privacy begin and end?
- Where does privacy begin in a relationship?
- Do you have a right to privacy from your parents?
- Does anyone have the right to control emails and messages?
- What is your opinion towards the argument "I have nothing to hide!"?
- Do your parents have a right to privacy from you?
- Who defines what the limits of privacy are for a person?
- How important is privacy concerning internet and mobile phones?
- How is the awareness about the consequences of exposing digital data?
- Why is there often a discrepancy between the security awareness of privacy issues and the actual user behavior on the Internet?
- What's the relationship between privacy and freedom?
Leading idea Putting oneself in another´s shoes – empathy
Can you put yourself in the position of the 15-year – old Heleen? Putting yourself in the position of other people means, trying to understand the problems, concerns, the desires and needs of other people. Empathy helps us to understand the feelings, such as fear, grief, and the pain of others.
Some people have difficulties to perceive the feelings, concerns, needs, problems of others, especially if they feel and think differently in that moment. Reflecting about these problems requires the development of cognitive, affective and relational skills.
- Can you imagine to be someone else?
- If you can put yourself in another´s shoes, would that help to find a solution in conflicts?
- The "golden rule" states: "Treat others the way you want to be treated." What does this statement mean?
- What does empathy mean to you?
- Why are some things embarrassing to one person but not to another?
Leading idea Happiness
Alle Menschen wollen glücklich sein. Doch was ist Glück? Welche verschiedenen Arten von Glück lassen sich unterscheiden? Ist Glück dasselbe wie glücklich sein?
Discussion plan Happiness
- Weißt du ob du glücklich bist?
- Was brauchst du, um glücklich zu sein?
- Können Tiere glücklich sein?
- Was ist der Unterschied zwischen Glück und glücklich sein?
- Welche Vorstellungen von Glück hast du?
- Was kann man selbst tun, um glücklich zu sein?
Leading idea Reality and virtuality
We seem to travel between two worlds - reality and virtuality. Reality and virtuality are often not kept apart.
Discussion plan Reality and virtuality
- What is the difference between reality and virtuality?
- Where are we when we are online chatting?
- Is it possible to be in cyberspace as well as in reality?
- Can we think of cyberspace as knowledge space?
- Through the new media we can reach places that are very far away - does it mean that there are no borders?
- Is the virtual space a space, where our thoughts can travel?
- Does the Internet change our relationship to reality?
Leading idea Social networks
Many young people use social networks a lot and spend most of their free time on them. They meet people, make new friends, share photos and videos, chat, argue and connect with people who live far away. But the anonymity also offers new opportunities for harassment and crime.
The 11-year-old girl from Pleven has experienced such an online harassment. How does acting responsibly on the Internet look like? How should parents deal with the new challenges on the Internet?
The development towards a media society leads us to unavoidable questions about social networking.
Discussion plan Social networks
- Why do people use social networks?
- How does the development of new media change our daily lives?
- How do new media influence and affects society?
- How do we use social networks?
- What’s the power of social networks?
- How can the media change our way of thinking?
- What is the purpose of social networks?
- Is it easier to be "myself" "online" or "offline"?
- What impact do new media have on family relationships?
- When you surf the Internet are you free to visit all the websites you want?
- Has your social network the power to influence what you think?